It is very possible that Paul acted as rabbi of the Cilician synagogue in Jerusalem when Stephen was active in the Hellenistic synagogue. It is also possible that he would have had an already fixed position in the meetings of the Great Council. This seventy-one-member Council met in a semi-circular arrangement. The judges sat on "benches". In front of them were students "sitting on the ground" in three rows, each in the place he deserved: the most distinguished in the front row, in the second the more experienced and in the third the newest students. If some front-row student was appointed judge of the Council, another moved from behind into his place. Paul tells in Galatians 1:14 that he had "advanced in Judaism beyond many Jews of his own age." Perhaps he had already attained a position in the front row of the Sanhedrin. It would also explain the fact that he was a witness to the stoning of Stephen. And perhaps he also therefore received special permission to lead disciplinary measures in order to stifle the incipient Christian awakening.

It is said that when Stephen spoke before the Great Council "his face was like the face of an angel." The same description of Paul is found later in the Acts of Paul and Thekla. But the road there led through crisis. In Greek the word "crisis" comes from the term "judgment". The corresponding Hebrew word "mashber" is a derivative of the verbal root meaning "breaking". Paul had to be broken and condemn himself before inner healing could take place. And in a sense he continued, as it were, the work begun by Stephen. Paul's future development can be followed on the basis of his biography and of psychological observations.

Paul's conversion experience changed his whole life and thought. He speaks of it three times, in Acts chapters 9, 22 and 26. Similarly, he mentions three times in his letters that he was "once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man," who "persecuted and tried to destroy" the church of God, and therefore he was "the least of the apostles." We can imagine the revolutionary nature of these experiences by adapting them to our own time. If, for example, Israel's Rabbi Meir Kahane, who used to recommend violent measures had been converted and become a Christian, or one of the present-day leaders of the religious terrorist "kah" party became an active follower of Jesus, it would lead to just as radical changes.

Paul persecuted the churches in two stages. First we are told in Acts 8:3 that "Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison." In Jerusalem alone it is estimated that there were then approximately four hundred and eighty synagogues, of which some were undoubtedly used by Jewish Christians. Everywhere that one could guarantee the necessary "minyan" of ten men for a meeting of the congregation a room was booked and treated as a synagogue. This number ten is based on Gen. 18:32, according to which Abraham heard that God would spare Sodom if "ten righteous men" were found there. Perhaps Paul already at this stage received his authorisation from the Great Council. The synagogue had in use three forms of punishment: 1. "nezifah" or "reprimand", when no one was allowed to keep company for a week with the person receiving the punishment; 2. "nidui" or "eviction", when the culprit was banished for a month from the synagogue and 3. "herem" or "ban", when the person was finally expelled from the Jewish community. When Paul says later in Rom. 9:3 that he could wish that he himself were "cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers," he is referring to this most severe punishment of the synagogue.

The synagogue used corporal punishment as a disciplinary measure, even in the Dispersion. Paul himself tells of it in 2 Cor. 11:23-25 when he is compelled against his will to describe his experiences: "I have been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned..." At the beginning of his career Paul was guilty of the same strict punishments towards others.

In the second stage, described at the beginning of Acts chapter 9, it is as if Paul forgets the moderate education he had received in Gamaliel's school. There "Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples." This strong choice of words tells of a person who was psychologically disturbed and in an uncontrollable circle of hatred. In Hebrew there is the saying "sinat hinnam", that is, "hating without cause." It appears twice in the Psalms of David. Jesus experienced such hatred as the genuine Son of David. Antisemitism too represents such a phenomenon. And the first Christians were hated in the same way. Even though the object of hate might be "innocent," nevertheless, this hatred might have a psychological basis.

Paul himself takes now the initiative and goes to the Sadducee high priest. And he requests of him letters "to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he find any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem." Diaspora Jews did not belong to the high priest's religious area of jurisdiction. However, the Jews had some kind of gentlemen's agreement that in religious questions they looked after their own affairs. Therefore Paul requests authorisation to bring "any who belonged to the Way," that is, Jewish Christians, bound to Jerusalem to be punished in the high priest's own area of jurisdiction. It is unnecessary to discuss the high priest's "juridical rights" in this connection.

In John's Gospel there are three references which point to the fact that already during Jesus' public ministry there had been taken some kind of decision to expel followers of Jesus from the synagogue. Even many leaders are said to have believed in Jesus, "but because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue." And Jesus said beforehand that everyone who kills one of them "will think he is offering a service to God." How official such a decision would have been, we do not know. However, at least by the 70s A.D. the situation had had become so settled that the synagogue forbade contact with Jewish Christians (Heb. "minim"). When the well-known Rabbi Eliezer Ben Hyrkanos was seen in the company of "Jesus' disciple James from the village of Sehanyah," he was confined to life-long house arrest in Lydda. Paul was prepared to go to any length to prevent the incipient awakening.

The Miracle on the Damascus Road

 Damascus is one of the oldest cities in the world. The Bible tells how during Kedorlaomer's military expedition Abraham freed his nephew Lot from the hands of the kings of the east and chased them "as far as Hobah, north of Damascus." Similarly, it tells that Abraham's servant Eliezer was from Damascus (Gen. 14:15 and 15:2). The discoveries made at Ebla in Syria, dating from 2600-2300 B.C., speak of selling goods to Damascus, Admah, Zeboiim, Sodom and Gomorrah. In Jesus' time Damascus was the nearest of the great Jewish centres outside Israel. There were several synagogues which regarded the Jerusalem Great Council as the supreme authority. Thus we can understand that Paul was authorised to stifle the local activities of Jewish Christian refugees. Paul's authorisation is reminiscent of the situation in 1 Maccabees 15: 5-21 (c.140 B.C.), where the Roman commander Lucius sends a letter requesting King Ptolemy of Egypt to hand over "to the high priest Simon worthless men" who had fled to his country "so that they could be punished according to their own laws."

Before his conversion Paul is called in Acts by his Hebrew name Saul. When he approached Damascus there took place a remarkable phenomenon, the genuineness of which is seen best when it is examined on the basis of chapters 9, 22 and 26. All three of these narratives emphasize that "suddenly a light from heaven" or "a great light" "flashed around him" or "around him and his travelling companions." Chapter 9 narrates how his travelling companions "stood there speechless" and "they heard the voice but did not see anyone" ... chapter 22 describes the situation in greater detail, telling that these travelling companions "did not hear the voice of him who was speaking to me." Instead all three descriptions state that Paul heard the same words: "Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?"

Modern theology has the tendency to seek differing features in these narratives in order to be able to deny their genuineness. Therefore it is good to remember the words of Shakespeare's play 'Hamlet': "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Not all secrets open up to academic wisdom. Spiritual life is a reality, and it has its own laws. If one looks closely at Paul's descriptions, it appears that everyone saw a baffling light and even heard something. However, only Paul received a clear message of his call. He describes it in greatest detail to King Agrippa in chapter 26. Luke was then Paul's companion, as we see from the continuation of the story. It may be that he then recorded this detailed information in writing too.

When the whole journey company fell to the ground, Paul tells of himself that "I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language: `Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.' Then I asked, `Who are you, Lord?' I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,' the Lord replied. `Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you. I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.' So then, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven. First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and to the Gentiles also, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds ... I am saying nothing beyond what the prophets and Moses said would happen -- that the Crist would suffer, and as the first to rice from the dead, would proclaimlight to his own people and to the Gentiles."

Acts chapter 9 tells also of the revelation which the disciple Ananias, who lived in Damascus, received about Paul. This description, too, demonstrates Luke's ability to record the main points with small details: "Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything. In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, `Ananias!' `Yes, Lord,' he answered. `The Lord told him: `Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.' `Lord,' Ananias answered, 'I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.' But the Lord said to Ananias, `Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.' Then Ananias went to the house and it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said: `Brother Saul, the Lord -- Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here -- has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.`' Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptised, and after taking some food, he regained his strength. Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus."

The consequences of Paul's conversion are evident immediately in his activities and in his preaching. Acts 9:20 gives a concentrated description of it: "At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God." Paul did not preach theology nor philosophy -- he preached the person of Jesus, of whom he was now fully convinced that he was the Messiah and the Son of God. Here there appears, as it were, a watershed which always distinguishes theoreticians from convinced believers.

Paul worked in many synagogues. The hearers were amazed that this former persecutor, whose assignment was to bring Jesus' followers "bound to the chief priests to be punished," had gone over to the side of the persecuted. And Luke tells that "Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Christ." And "after many days had gone by, the Jews conspired to kill him." The gates of Damascus were guarded "day and night," so that he could not escape. But "his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall." Such a large basket used for moving goods was still some while ago on display in, for instance, Catharine's monastery on Sinai.

Paul's activities in Damascus evidently brought about a significant awakening. He was joined by new disciples. And when this stage lasted "a long time," a complaint about the new movement was also made to the local officials. 2 Cor. 11:32 supplements this description. Paul tells there that "the governor under King Aretas (of the Nabateans) had the city of Damascus guarded" in order to arrest him. But Paul "was lowered in a basket from a window in the wall" and so he was rescued.

Acts 9:26-30 describes what happened next, how Paul tried to join the Jerusalem church after his rescue. "But they were all afraid of him, because they did not believe that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took him under his protection and took him to the apostles and told them how Saul had seen the Lord on the road, and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how he in Damascus had boldly proclaimed the name of Jesus. And so he went in and out among them in Jerusalem and proclaimed boldly of the name of the Lord. And he spoke and debated with the Hellenists; but they tried to kill him. When the brethren noticed it, they took him to Caesarea and sent him from there to Tarsus." Then Paul began preaching in his home districts of Syria and Cilicia.

Paul Renewed

 A study of Paul's life leads to universal and human observations applicable to all believers, be they Christians or Jews. There is no need to doubt the genuineness of his conversion experience and think that he imagined it. The vision of Jesus happened "suddenly" and surprised his travelling companions too. They were not Paul's helpers or his accompanying military escort but ordinary caravan members. His blindness lasted three days, which he spent fasting. The words "look, he is praying" illustrate the spiritual nature of his experience. These outward events should not be psychologized. Paul already received then a clear calling as Apostle of the Gentiles. This consciousness was an encouragement for the future.

However, the change which had taken place in Paul had its own internal background. His education had already created a profound conflict. He himself tells that he had lived, according to the "strictest sect of his religion, as a Pharisee" (Acts 26:5). This points to hard religiosity and perhaps that he had taken a liking also to Rabbi Shammai's stricter interpretation of the Law. Undoubtedly at home excessive hopes were implanted in him -- the name given to him, Saul, presupposed that he would become "a head taller than others." However, the prematurely born child was paulus, that is, diminutive and tiny. Over-great hopes may depress and create self-hatred. This concealed hatred was projected onto others. Hillel's and Gamaliel's tolerant and gentle way of thinking may only have brought to a head the inner crisis.

When Saul then heard Stephen's sermon and saw his face, which was like the face of an angel, envy and hatred arose within him. As a synagogue representative he chose the safest way, the role of a defender of faith. Stephen's being sentenced to death was against Pharisaic principles. At the same time he rejected Gamaliel's more tolerant surface polish. And when, moreover, on his own initiative he asked the Sadducee high priest for special authorisation to cleanse the synagogues of Damascus, he joined the opponents of the Pharisees. Might he have had in mind a new career as a member of the Great Council?

The more powerful our longing for inner change, the stronger is often the repression. When Paul was blinded, his defiance was disarmed. Jesus hit a tender spot when he said to him, "It hurts you to kick against the goads." When the ox is yoked for work, it is guided by a sharp goad. The rabbis speak of the "yoke of the Kingdom of God." Paul was prepared for this yoke. Only when he broke and humbled himself was fulfilled in him Jesus' exhortation: "Take my yoke upon you -- my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:29-30).

Psychology and examination of a person's mental health is really only a product of our century. Hardly any generation has been as distressed as this present one. The father of modern psychiatry, the Jew Sigmund Freud, considered man's basic problems to be sexuality and hatred. Another guru of psychiatry, Alfred Adler, claimed that man longs for power and therefore always fights against his sense of inferiority. According to C.G. Jung, every person has his own shadow, repressed guilt. As long as he fights against it and denies the truth about himself, his problem binds him. Only when we recognize our faults can they be dealt with.

If one is successful in leading a man without compulsion to the threshold of the problem area, so that he realizes his inner wound, he may experience an explosive deliverance. Doctors call it by the name apertura ad coelum, that is, "opening to heaven." In Paul there operated hatred, longing for power, an inferiority complex and repressed inner guilt. They created his aggression. Every person struggling with problems of faith meets the same contributory factors. And if someone has received a strict authoritarian upbringing, the road to deliverance often runs through profound crisis.

This is what happened to Paul. His basic attitude of hate changed into love. Usually John is called the "apostle of love." However, Paul speaks of love more than the gospels or the letters of John. This is apparent, for instance, in the hymn of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Israel's late long-term prime minister, David Ben Gurion, regarded this chapter as the most beautiful jewel in Jewish literature. Here speaks a person liberated from the power of hate and aggression. Its every detail reflects his own experience. "Even though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy and I know all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I can move mountains, but I have not love, I am nothing. And though I distribute all my belongings to feed the poor (which Gamaliel taught), and though I give my body to be burnt, but I have not love, I gain nothing." There would not any "zekhut" merit in it.

What a revolution, what a challenge and prayers arising from the depths of the heart! When I do not have love -- when my problem is hate -- when I am a persecutor of the church -- when I have dragged women to prison -- when I still often let out my aggressions -- the Messiah Jesus teaches us to love our enemies. In him is realized unselfish love, which "is patient and kind"; it "does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude" as I am, "it is not self-seeking" as I am, "it is not easily angered" as I am, "it keeps no record of wrongs" as I do -- but "it protects everything, believes everything, hopes everything, suffers everything."

Paul was from now on ready to suffer "yisurei malkhut" or "the birthpangs of the Kingdom of God." Also, in other contexts Paul writes, "God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Rom. 5:5). One cannot found it within oneself. "You yourselves have been taught by God to love each other" (1 Thess. 4:9). And these words of Paul are familiar: "For Christ's love compels us... that we should no longer live for ourselves" -- "In Christ Jesus the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" -- "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace" -- you must be "rooted and established in love.. and know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge" -- we "bear with one another in love" -- we "walk in love" -- we want to "put on love, which binds together in perfect unity" -- "the grace of our Lord along with faith and love" -- "the goal of this command is love." Thus speaks the renewed Paul. The Damascus road experience brought it about.